'If our relationship and baby is less important than two cats...': Husband of 6 years resents his pregnant wife for "forcing" him to live with two cats, he holds festering feelings for felines for five years and contemplates divorce

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Jun 12, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

We hope you're feline purrfectly fine today, feline fam. If you had to ask us, we could easily divide the world into two different types of people - cat people, and not cat people. Now, there are some not cat people who are actually cat people, they just don't know it yet. But for the ones who are truly not cat people, there is noe chance of us ever being in a loving, committed relationship with them. It's a red flag for us. We don't want to change who we are to be with someone else, and we shouldn't have to. 

One of the things we pawsitively love most about our lives is our relationship with our cats. They are our children, our companions, our best friends. So we could never be with someone who doesn't see them the same way that we do. And if they don't, that's a problem - just like what happened in the story below. One husband still resents his wife 5 years later after she convinced him to get two cats, and now, he's contemplating divorce. Read through the juicy drama below!

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  • 01

    Cats are ruining our marriage (M33, F31)

    'You have to stop blaming her for getting cats you didn't want five years ago.'
    via Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    TL;DR - Wife got cats I never wanted, found out we are pregnant and move, now we fight constantly
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 03
    I just want to start off by saying I'm not looking for cat people to come here and espouse their love of cats, we are having a problem due to them and I am not and
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 04
    never will be a cat person, this issue only cemented that fact. I would really like some advice on how to deal with this situation, please.
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 05
    So, we just got married and almost a month afterward we found out we were pregnant. So we found a bigger place and moved.
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 06
    5 Years ago when we got our first place together, my wife (then girlfriend) begged for a cat, I was firmly against it, I have always disliked them and I fought her on
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 07
    it every step of the way. She wore me down after months of fighting and begging every day and then all of a sudden we had not one, but two cats.
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10515372544
    via Nils Jacobi

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    I hate them for a million reasons but that's not important. Now that we are pregnant, I have had to take on cleaning out the litter box and taking care of them due to the toxoplasmosis and my wife
    via u/ieffingh8evry1

  • Don't know where he got his expectations of marriage, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows. You will fight. You will have to do things you don't think you have to do for your partner. You will make sacrifices. This is a relatively small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things, if you ask us.

  • 10
    being pregnant. Since we've been in the new place the things have done nothing but knock things over and break them, scream all night, almost tripped my wife down the stairs several
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 11
    times. They are constantly walking on the kitchen counter which boils my bl d because they seem to take 50 dumps a day and are always in the litter
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 12
    box. I don't care how many people say it's not a big deal, it is completely unsanitary. I'll stop now before this turns into an anti-cat rant.
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 13
    Anyway, they cause me extreme anxiety because I worry they will break something we cant afford to fix, or will get my wife sick, or trip her down the stairs. Every time I bring up maybe keeping them in only the spare bedroom
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 14
    or doing anything at all to limit their access to the whole house I get screamed at and told I cant stress her out when pregnant and I get the "their only animals" speech which is supposed to
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 15
    make me feel better about them ruling the roost. She refuses to compromise and is now saying she doesn't know if she wants to do this anymore because of the cats and my inability to somehow
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 16
    start to enjoy them even though they make every day for me miserable. She has never once considered my feelings on them, and always yelled at me for not liking them.
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 17
    I told her that if our relationship and baby is less important than the two cats that we never could agree on in the first place (but she went and got anyway) then I guess maybe it isn't worth it
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10515372032
    via Andranik Hakobyan

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    either. All these things were said in the heat of the moment and we've been together for almost 6 years, and been friends for almost 10.
    via u/ieffingh8evry1
  • 20
    Other than giving in and letting the filthy things run the house, what can I do? How do I approach a cat obsessed and irrational person about compromising on how to live with them?
    via u/ieffingh8evry1

  • We have a solution: deal with it. Asking her to get rid of the cats is heartless. Just accept that they're part of the family and move on. Everyone will thank you for it later.

  • 21
    losttexanian Get an automatic liter box. It's a life changer. Also cats can be trained. It's not unreasonable to not want cats on the counters. Look up some information from
    via u/losttexanian
  • 22
    Jackson galaxy. Also if you want to keep your wife maybe work on the condescending tone you use when speaking about her and her pets.
    via u/losttexanian
  • 23
    ConsistentCheesecake I think you need to step back and acknowledge that you chose to marry her after she got the cats. You could have broken up with her for getting cats you didn't want, but you
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake
  • 24
    didn't. You chose to marry her anyway. You chose to start a family together anyway. And to me, that means you have to stop blaming her for getting cats you didn't want five years ago. At some point, you either have to decide to let go of your resentment, or you have to leave.
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake
  • 25
    I sympathize with you a lot, because I also dislike living with cats. I like cats fine in small doses (cute cat videos, petting a friend's cat when I visit them), but dislike living with them. Having a pet that you
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake
  • 26
    resent and that stresses you out living in your home with you is kind of crazy-making, ESPECIALLY if the pet disrupts your sleep by meowing really loudly at night. But you need to get a grip and focus on solutions, not your anger.
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake
  • 27
    Get those feliway plug ins for the cats or something similar-- they are probably stressed about the move, the pregnancy, and your anxiety is probably making them stressed too, and that probably makes them
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake
  • 28
    antsier. I don't have other practical advice because I'm not a cat person, but there's tons of resources and advice blogs about cats out there and you can find something.
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake
  • 29
    Finally, I think your final slam on your wife ("cat obsessed and irrational") could equally apply to you right now. Remember, your perspective is no less
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake
  • 30
    subjective than hers is. Good luck. I hope everything calms down and that your wife's pregnancy is smooth and healthy.
    via u/ConsistentCheesecake

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marriage baby wife relationships felines husband divorce pregnant Cats animals
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